flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

April 12, 2006

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know

So, the Iranians have figured out how to do the complete nuclear fuel cycle. They celebrated with a dance festival (a dance festival??), and stated that this was done under the “blessings of God Almighty.”

All I can say is, God must love us better. We figured this out a century ago.


Blasphemy First

Oh, Philadelphia. You have such a weird sense of humor.

We’re having a Zombie crawl on Sunday, to celebrate the most popular zombie ever.

I guess it makes me in the front car on that Express Train To H3ll, but I found this funny.


Words Not Spoken In Polite Company

I was driving to work the other day and learned something completely new to me from talk radio.

It seems there’s a
mild controversy going on at the New York Times. Fake but Accurate? No. It’s all about the crossword.

It seems that the 7 letter word for scoundrel was SCUMBAG. This word is, apparently, vulgar. The first OED meaning of the word is condom.

Makes sense, but I had no idea. Even if I had, it would be far from “outrageous” to me. I guess I’m a vulgar bird, at heart.

The guest on the radio was the editor of the OED, and he went on to mention all sorts of things that shall not be mentioned in polite company – like gypping someone, going dutch, etc. He even brought up that old controversy of how a gentleman was fired from his job for using the word niggardly in the proper context. PC craziness to the max.

Then, I opened the paper, and
read about a new movie named F$%&. Of course, the real movie has it all spelled out. And people are asking for tickets to it…

A world where a person is fired for using a word that sounds like a bad word, where the grey lady gets protested for having a crossword clue which is slightly vulgar, yet an art can be named after a TRULY bad word and be completely accepted? I truly do not understand.



April 10, 2006

My Weekend, by Birdwoman

I got to pick up the Birdmobile on Saturday. I found an auto body place here that was honest, moderately priced, did a good job, and treated me well. I think I've gone to a different dimension! The scoutback is back, and whole again. Thank you Tim of Concordville Auto Body of Media. You ROCK!!

I went to the comic book store last Saturday and picked up my last three months' worth of books. For some reason, I was hesitant to pick up comic books when Mom was here (hmmm, wonder why?). So I had a lot to munch on. (Jonah Hex, Conan, Grimm Fairy Tales, and Astonishing XMen galore...) Yet, until this Saturday, when all the work was caught up and it was raining cats and dogs, I didn't have a chance to look at them.

Also, I went to the library and picked up a few books (a new-to-me author Rachel Gibson, some praxis prep books, and an interesting-looking book by Gail Godwin called Evensong), and I have more than a few books sitting around (Rachel and Leah by Orson Scott Card, a vampire book, and a non-fiction (really!) book about Sept. 11) to read...

And I had free time while doing laundry.

My quandry was, I had so much to read, I didn't know where to start! Isn't that an awful decision to have to make!! Don't worry, I wasn't in "analysis paralysis". My head is fairly floating with new environs...

To top it off, since I'm taking stinky to the dentist (AGAIN) this morning, I didn't have to get up early today, so I was able to go to the MOVIES last night! Take The Lead is a movie based on the same story as the Mad Hot Ballroom documentary, from what I understand. Antonio Banderas stars as a dance teacher in a ghetto high school. It's most likely completely out of touch, and I kept expecting Michelle Pfeiffer to pop in and say "Once a marine, Always a marine." But mostly, I enjoyed it. The soundtrack was good, the story never tried to get above the basic level, and, let's face it, Antonio Banderas is easy on the eyes. I knew I'd never be able to watch this in the testosterone-laden bird's nest, so this was my opportunity.

What did you do this weekend?



Truly Hurtin!

I got an email in my box the other day:

Hello Birdwoman,
I represent a local client who is interested in sponsoring Blog posts or just sponsoring your Blog in general. His profession is hair restoration. Would you be interested in this opportunity? If so, we are interested in a permanent sponsored text link at the end of a few Blog posts or a link added to your side-bar. We look forward to hearing from you and hopefully supporting your efforts towards your great Blog.

If you look at my site meter, I get about 10 visits a day. The dusty aviary is not exactly a hoppin' place to be. Besides, don't they think I'd be more interested in feather restoration?

I mean, really!



April 05, 2006

Smoke Free Philadelphia

(3 posts in one night! I've been saving up!)

Mayor Street and his corrupt nanny henchmen are bound and determined to have a smoke-free city by 2008. They want all public places fume-free. Some would say it’s an honourable goal. Some would say it’s overstepping governmental bounds (I’m in that camp).

However, I think there’s something that should be exposed.

City Hall has been “smoke free” for dozens of years. On the books.

I have an acquaintance who works as an intern there. She hates it. Know why? She’s working in an office with two chain smokers who don’t bother to leave the building. They smoke at their desks. In the judge’s chambers. In city hall.

I don’t know about any other office buildings, but the ones I work in, well, you’d be lynched if you tried that. Heck, we don’t even let people smoke next to doors at Spaceleys… errr… I guess we’re actually Cogswells, now. But city hall, who proposes to force all bars and restaurants to kick smokers out at the business’ detriment, can’t even enforce their own stupid, insane, rights-infringing rules.

That’s just one reason to hate big government: double standards.



Mothisms: a Mommy moment

Timmy is getting to the point where he talks and sings a lot, and he doesn’t quite get the words. When Grandma was here, he learned lots of songs like, from the sound of music:

“Do: a deer a female deer, re: a drop of guggen sun, mi: a name I call me-self…”

And, for those who know Mitch Miller:

“When the red, red robbin goes bob-bob-bobbin along…. Wake up, wake up you sleepyhead. Get up, get outta my bed…”

His most impressive feat is the planets. John hung the planets from the ceiling, and Tim not only knows the planets in order, but he can tell you which one is which. “Mercree, Penus, Erff, Mars, Jupitah, Saturn, Unanus, Neptune, Pluto!”

He really is cool. And I’m recording all this on MP3, for later blackmail.



Too Early For Pop Culture?

Universal has a movie coming out in a few weeks about flight 93. The magazine Entertainment Weekly which, to my dismay, has been showing more of its political leanings in recent months, posits that it is “too soon” to make a film about tragedy.

Here’s some of the “proof” they offer:

Now, The Green Berets might have been done 7 years after we entered the Vietnam war, but it wasn’t until 68 that the draft, and therefore the big issues with the war, happened. World War II films are probably just as appropriate to mention: The Sullivans came out in 1944; the Sullivan Brothers were killed in 1942.

As for AIDS or Rwanda, though both are tragic, I would not call either American tragedies.

I don’t think the awful events of 11 September can be compared to anything in this list, except maybe Pearl Harbor. And though Hollywood made no movies solely about Pearl Harbor until 1953’s From Here To Eternity, there were several other movies which addressed that tragedy and the war as a whole almost from day one of the US involvement in the war.

In short, I think that the “too soon” argument is suspect, and is instead a cover. They really don’t want us remembering just how angry we are, or at whom we would direct that anger. It might make a certain chimp’s approval rating go up.

That, in their eyes, would be a tragedy.



April 01, 2006

World’s Worst Mother Award

So, my mom went home today. The kids are very sad, as they realize this means the end of freshly-baked brownies and cookies on a regular basis. The Moth has actually started calling me Grandma-Mommy, and is quite perturbed that “Unca John took my Grandma in his car.”

Not one hour after my mother left, Timothy took a header down the cellar steps. He has, I think a very bruised (if not broken) nose that bled for quite a while this afternoon.

I ask you, how could G-d give a loser like me a license to parent. It’s quite wrong, I tell you.



Bible Thumping

OK, so the great state of Georgia (US, not USSR) has decided to support two new courses in schools next year. Schools can get funding for teaching Old Testament and New Testament courses. Such classes would be electives.

When I first heard this, I thought it was bad. You have to understand, I am a product of my environment, and I still have moments of “freedom of religion means freedom from religion”.

Then I thought about it. Sometimes my brain does function.

Our society is founded on Christian beliefs. There is no more quoted or purchased book in our current civilization than the Bible.

For those who say there is no good studying this, I say there is no good studying history, or literature, or anything that comprises our intellectual heritage. From a sheer knowledge point of view, to understand our history, our outlook, even many of our fundamental pieces of literature, it is necessary to study the Bible.

So, from a purely intellectual outlook, these classes are good.

Besides, anything that gets NPR in a tizzy is probably a good thing.