flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

May 31, 2011

Going Green

We in the dusty aviary have been undergoing the green revolution. Whether it's Stinky with his incessant lectures on saving the environment (as he whines to be driven up to the library, which is an easy walk), or the Moth who is so concerned with water conservation that he refuses to bathe - right until we push his smelly butt in the shower, or John, who has decided that tissues are made of paper, and boogers are green, so his recycle bin is now the grateful recipient of his used tissues (think about that next time you use a Starbucks recycled cup!).

We've got the "talk it, don't walk it" green attitude down, pat.

I've found my useful contribution. After much consideration, I've decided to stop mowing the grass so often.

Now, you might think this is because I'm lazy. This is, after all a truism. I am lazy. But that is not my impetus for this stance.

You could believe that I refuse to mow because I'm cheap. Gas is, after all, 4 smackers a gallon right now, and our mower uses an infernal combustion engine. But, alas, I'm not trading in the Scooby-Roo for a Prius, or even a SEPTA pass.

No, it's all about the carbon emissions. You see, grass is a producer. It's an autotroph. As such, it's an eater of the carbon dioxide. Shearing it minimizes its photosynthetic prowess! Therefore, it is wrong to cut it so often.

By NOT running the mower, I lower my CO2 emissions, and by letting the grass grow, I'm further reducing the CO2 load in my local atmosphere. Win Win.

I think this could be a new rallying cry: Save the polar bears: kill the Lawn Boy!

I never said I was good at slogans, but you get the drift. Now, come to come up with a catchy way
to say this so my neighbors don't lynch me!