flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

July 19, 2007

Let's Go To The Movies!

I saw Harry Potter on the IMAX the other night, and I really enjoyed it.

First off, it was IMAX. The flying scenes, the ministry scenes, they were rockin awesome. The 3-D part was wicked!

The overall feeling of the wizarding world in this movie was almost Stalinesque, with a frog-march conformity, worship of the minister, and complete takeover of both the press and the education sectors. Though this was all done in the book, the visuals of it were downright chilling.
There are some things that the movie did so well that the book couldn’t possibly have done. It made up for some of the things that were lacking. For example, when Harry would dream of Voldemort, you’d see you-no-poo do this slithery neck movement. Then you’d see Harry echo that movement.

The isolation of Harry is so completely overt in the movie. From the first scene, where he’s alone, walking, and so very tense and angry and sad, to his dreams, to his lashing out at his visibly-worried friends… you understand his anger a lot better – it’s not nearly as frustrating as the book. Also, emphasis on the DA showed growth in Harry which I don’t remember in the book. This, unlike the Quibbler article, was really his vindication in the movie.

The Quibbler article and that whole rallying around Harry is something that I missed. The thing I missed most, however, was the absolute insurrection around Umbridge. In the book, the teachers got sick of her antics; they weren’t “scared” of her. To see McGonagall cowed by that cow was just wrong. But it really fit what the MOVIE was showing – Umbridge’s total evil.

And, daggone it, she was perfect.

They took out things but overall I think they grabbed enough (like kiddie-Snape, the snape/potter relationship, Grawp, Luna, etc) that I felt satisfied.


A second movie I saw – last week, in fact – was a movie called The Waitress. This stars that girl from Felicity and also has a strong role for Matlock. The casting, scripting, direction, filming: all of it was wonderful. I enjoyed the movie from that angle. However.

Every male in this movie was a jerk. Every single one at the very least cheated on his spouse flagrantly, if not beat his spouse. It’s an extreme example of male-bashing that I would not have agreed with in my staunchest femi-nazi phase (which I never really had). The ideas that:
  1. a girl only needs her girlfriends for a complete life
  2. a woman will instantly bond with and love her newborn child like nothing on earth
are so tired and wrong that I was saddened to see them here. In the end, though I enjoyed the performances of the movie, I felt emotionally manipulated by the writers. I don’t like that.



July 12, 2007

I don't think so

I'm watching some processes for Spaceley's tonight (hoping to pre-empt a call at midnight or so) and I came across a quiz on a friend's blog. Now, disclaimer, I've always known I'm a geek. But, hells, this can't be true:

I am nerdier than 97% of all people. Are you a nerd? Click here to find out!
Y'all, I don't even code my own webpage! I use a free blog software! I CANNOT be a nerd. It's not possible.
Did I mention I'm going to see Harry Potter 5 on the 3-D IMAX next week? snert

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July 08, 2007


Priceless? I don't think so. First the hinge on one of our cabinets snapped. Snapped! We just had our kitchen cabinets installed in 99. Grrr. Well, at least they sent us the new ones no charge, since these cabinets have a lifetime guarantee. Here's the end result (click on the pics to see 'em big):

Then the bone in Titus's foot snapped. No lifetime guarantee on the dog, however. I call him "the Captain" because he sounds like a pirate, clunking around on his peg-leg. And my slinky-dog just cannot get used to this cone-head look. I tried telling him it's all the rage, but he's like "whatever, man. Why did you do this to me again?!" The only perks here are that he's getting some MAJOR drugs. He hasn't started picking flowers out of the air, though, so I guess they're not psyochotropics. Worth as much as the porsche-driving vet charged? *sigh* not to me, but to John yes.

And then, yesterday, our TV caught fire. Poof, sparks, daggone it. It was 10 years old, but we were hoping for another 10. Daggone it. So, off to Best Buy to get the replacement... (do you like the cabinet I built?! Little ol' me! We had to get a TV to fit in the cabinet I built. )

So, the Visa has had a workout this weekend. Totally lame. Not priceless.

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July 05, 2007

A Two-fer

Months of barely posting, and here I am, 2 in one day! Well, this is a meme, so it mightn't count.

My aussie friend Craig over at Outside The Breadbox has tagged me for a meme. Damn his eyes!
The gist is this: I’m supposed to list 8 things about myself that other people wouldn’t know. Then I’m supposed to share the fun with eight others.

The problem is, I’m a person without secrets. In fact, when I went to the bank the other day, these two guys were sitting there, and one asked me for a secret. I frowned, and stated that I had none. I’m so BORING!

So, I’ve been thinking about this since then, and since I saw Craig tagged me last week. I’ll try.

  1. I have an extra fold in my first finger. No, it’s true! It’s like I have another joint, but I don’t.
  2. I still talk to myself, and thank god for the invention of hands free devices for cell phones, because now people aren’t as likely to think I’m crazy. (They’d be wrong, of course.)

  3. I write fanfic. Lots of it. Have for years – since seventh grade, in fact. Back then, it was Scarecrow and Mrs. King. Most recently, I’ve been writing/reading Jane Austen fanfic. I’ve even written some short, original fiction. It has led to me understanding just how hard it is to write at all, let alone well, and has given me WAY more respect for published writers.

  4. I’m the youngest of eight children. My mom was the youngest of eight children. Though I’m only in my thirties, my uncle fought in WWI. My sibs and I (and all of our spouses) all get along – I can’t remember a feud among us even though we are ALL very different. I think about my family a lot, to this day quoting MASH or Bugs Bunny or something like that and thinking that John or Ron would understand when everyone else just looks at me like I’m nuts.

  5. I am a jack of many trades and a master of none. I can play guitar… a little. Piano… even less. I can sing, but who can’t? I can program, but I’m not great at it. I can knit, cross stitch, cook, and all sorts of other things to a mediocre level. I have passion for nothing. Sometimes it makes me feel half dead inside.

  6. I love pens. I keep a box of all different color pens. I don’t use them, I just have them.

  7. I like people on an individual level, but abhor crowds. If I have to be in crowds, I want to be alone (i.e. shopping) – I have no fear of getting lost, but I do have a fear of separation, probably left from when I was a child and my older sister purposefully left me behind in stores. Hey, gotta blame someone for my neuroses.

  8. There used to be a really big, ugly mole on my chin. The first thing I did when we had some money was get that stupid thing removed. I have a scar now, and find it infinitely preferable.

  9. Chain letters are evil, and so are memes. I don’t forward or tag. It’s against my religion. Along with fornication.

That’s it. See? Boring as a blade of grass in Toledo, Ohio.


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Anecdotal Evidence

I’m working from home today, and as a result, I’m able to listen to my local radio host’s morning show. He’s hit or miss for me – but today, he’s totally hit. He had an interesting interview of Ron Paul on there, and a poll on “do real men wear sandals?” for humor. But the latest section had my interest.

Why, of all the hybrid cars out there, is the Toyota Prius hands-down the best seller out there? Other hybrids struggle to sell. But the Prius consistently sells out. Is it because it’s the oldest one out there, so people trust the technology? Is it because the price is right? According to the article Michael Smirkonish was reading (sorry, I don’t have a link, he didn’t say where this article was), it’s because Prius buyers *want* people to know that they’re hybrid owners, and no other hybrid is easily recognized.

He equated it to the folks who wear the plastic bracelets a la Lance Armstrong.

Anecdotally, one guy called in who drives a ford hybrid of some sort. He said he drives the hybrid because of $$ - he drives more than 35k a year, so he’d have return on investment in two years. He picked the ford because he didn’t want people thinking he was a “tree-hugging granola-crunching greenie”, as he said with disgust.



In other news, my boys are quite divided on the subject of girls these days. Tim has a new girl in his school and she’s “beautiful!”:

“Hew name ith Cathewyn and she hath pwetty haih. And she weath pink. I like huh,” he says with emphasis. (translation: her name is Catherine and she has pretty hair. And she wears pink. I like her.)

Sean, meanwhile, comes home chanting “Boys go to college to get knowledge; girls go to Jupiter to get stupider.”

The verbal gaffes continue – Stinky is fond of telling the Moth to go “play with himself" (with/by what a difference!) and the Moth, whenever Dad does a coin toss, goes around the house chanting “I get head!” (oh, one letter short, tim, don’t forget that “s”)!!

Life with Boys is never dull, nosiree.


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July 02, 2007

Updates from Birdland

Poor Titus

After an absolutely BANNER day yesterday (car ride, swimming, went for a walk, got scraps from a picnic), he ended the day tearing the ligament in his hind leg. He can’t walk. John is sick with worry - didn’t even sleep last night. So, off to the vet he went this morning. To be held there til they figure out what to do. He hates the vet. Poor Titus!


The kids are having, to all accounts, a banner summer. Sean is in big boy camp, where he manages to “misplace” a major article of clothing every day. The other day, he came home with 2 right shoes on. How the Hades do you do that?! Boy’s got talent, I tell you. But this is not your regular suburban sports camp. He’s learning to fish, start fires, rope climb, creek walk, do archery, ride a horse, and all other sorts of boy stuff. He’s in HEAVEN. His Christmas “list” now includes a war horse, a suit of armor, a bow and a quiver of arrows. I’m sure Santa’ll get right on that.

Tim is still at daycare, which they rename “camp kaleidoscope” for the summer. A rose by any other name, yadda yadda yadda. After Stinky lost a shoe, t-shirt, shorts, pair of swim trunks, a pair of socks, and a towel last week, we told him he was going to have to go back to Camp Kaleidoscope for the summer if he keeps losing shit. He never lost stuff there.

Well, when he realized this was daycare, it was like our house was the wailing wall. There was great weeping, gnashing of teeth, and beating of breast. It was funny as a crutch. Did I say we’re mean parents?

The Moth meanwhile keeps building up his teasing repertoire. First, he started singing the songs from Sean’s graduation, which Sean didn’t like. I mean, they’re his songs, right? So, in the car coming back from Baltimore, we had “take me out to the ball game, take me out with the crowd…” of course, Tim gets some of the words wrong… “cause it’s fruit, fruit, fruit in the hallway…” Sean got even angrier because the words were wrong. So of course the words got worse and worse til they were a conglomeration of “dirty” “worms” “bugs” “boogers” and other pre-k mots du jour. Mothy giggled, and eventually, Stinky (on my cue, of course) started singing the Thomas theme with similar words. Which Tim didn’t find nearly so funny.

I ended the joust by playing their
favorite song of the week.

I can’t wait for 5 years from now, when I tell Sean he loved this song, and he cried when I told him he’d hate it later. He said, “I always want to like this song!”

Have I mentioned he’s a drama queen?


Why were we in the car? We went to celebrate my sister in law’s birthday - a three-hour water tour on the Potomac. But since the skipper didn’t introduce his first mate as “little buddy”, we figured we were safe. It was dinner and dancing and DC at its finest. I’d recommend it to anyone; a great time was had by all. (Thanks for inviting us guys!)

And that’s it for dispatches. Back to sunning myself on the Lido deck (not).


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