flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

October 22, 2014

Wednesday Absurdities

So, it's hump day. Now that it's done, the week is more than half done. Right? In celebration, I wore a shirt that has camels on it.

One person noticed all day. :P

To be fair, I was guiding my students through a documentary on anthropogenic climate change. It was made back in 2008 and is sufficiently scary. Not in the way you think. Taking the viewer through a history of the treaties and protocols, the PBS mocumentary blames the senate for not signing the Kyoto protocol (Clinton was pres) and the president for sticking to that decision four years later (that's Bush). There are also lots of clips about how the US attitude and deportment toward CO2 control is changing now that the house and (at that point - soon) the white house are all dem controlled.

Yeah, I've noticed a lot of hopey changey stuff since 2008. How about you?  Ummm, I think we got some new windmills. Yeah. That's about it. Still burning coal. Digging for gas now.

What's really sad is that all these people who are railing about climate change want to blame Americans. They want to blame us because we use too much stuff. Great. I'll admit it. I use too much stuff. Now, who's up for pulling an "Into The Wild" life, where you just dump everything and live off the "land" Little House style? I can bet none of the ppl behind this mocumentary are. It's good enough for you and me, but they're IMPORTANT people. In fact, the show went so far as to say that the only good change in attitude about global climate change has been caused by the morons in Hollywood. Hell, if those people, who have footprints 1000times mine, tell me to change my life? I'm going to ask them to LIVE my life, then tell me how to change.

Hypocrites drive me bananas.

And yet, I'm spewing this to my students.

The fact is, I do believe in anthropogenic climate change. I do believe that we need to seriously think about how we spend our resources and I do believe that I need to get that idea across to the next generation. It's important. It's a big thought that will haunt future generations.

I just wish I didn't feel slimy when I use these pre-produced republican and american bash fests. Sad thing is, straight up science will not convince anyone. People care more about Kim Kardashian and that rap dude she married than about climate change. So we need to sexy it up, make a villain of the piece. The unwary will look at this video and say "It's all the Republican's faults!" not realizing that who is really being blamed is the viewer, the slobbish, selfish, greedy American viewer.

Enough. I'm gonna go eat a pizza, throw out half, play the TV, radio, keep on the lights, heat the house but open the windows, and leave the car running in the driveway for a few hours. I need the guilt for the penance I'm paying.


October 12, 2014

They Mysteries of Mothman

Tim continues to confound us.

A few weeks ago, he missed his bus home from school. To be clear, his school is about 2 miles from home. But it's horrific miles with highly trafficked roads and no sidewalks.

So, I got the call but had my phone off (on a precious day off, I had gone to the movies with a friend). For some reason, toward the end of the movie, I turned on my phone to check the time and saw the missed phone calls and texts. This was about 3:15. He missed the bus at 2:45.

I "rushed" home through Friday afternoon traffic, but the fastest I could get to the school was 4.

He didn't wait.

I looked for well over an hour: at the school and through its grounds, on the most likely route home, through our neighborhood. No moth. I was now completely freaked out and had been texting/calling John. We decided to call the police. I headed back toward the school with the idea of "one more try" and there he was, stomping down the road, crying.

He'd gotten lost trying to find his way home.

We came up with a plan if this ever happened again. The key component to the plan is "stay.,"

Fast forward a week. John is late picking him up from soccer. He didn't wait. He walked home. John freaked out because he couldn't find him. Lather rinse repeat except this time, Moth didn't get lost. So we gave the "hug a tree" lecture again.

Last night, when I had the boys out, we stopped at a rest stop and hit the bathrooms first. Our adventure had left us grimy and I wanted them to wash up before we got food. Well, I said wait outside the bathrooms. I come out, and he's nowhere to be found.


He likes to flutter. What can I say? He's a moth.

Last night's adventure was a local spook-fest called Field Of Screams. I took Stinky and the Moth and a friend of Mothy's as this is a part of his birthday present late. (we like to go places or do things instead of giving presents). Anyhow, we went through the Den of Darkness which was creeptastic. Then we went through the Asylum which was also terrorlicious. The boys were sufficiently startled, scared, and just plain excited. We stopped for a snack so it could get dark enough to do the outdoor activities. There were a bunch of yellow jackets at the picnic tables.

I think that the swarming bees scared them more than anything else last night.

Speaking of scary, Sean is now almost 14. He's actively talking about driving. Crazy, right? He's a good kid, pretty responsible and respectful. I think he'll be a decent driver -better than I am anyway. Not saying much. But he has a bit of an appearances issue.

He is totally embarrassed by his parents and our circumstances. In fact, he won't go to the eighth grade dance - the big social fest for his peers - because I said he could only go if I took him.

Now, if I were my mother, I'd be upset that I embarrass him. Instead, I like to use it. Oh, yes, I'm Sean's weird mother. Embrace it.

But it's not just my strangeness that embarrasses him. It's the house we have. The clothes we wear. (though this is the child who has 3 shirts he likes, and he wears them over and over again.) The cars we drive.

So, anyhow, he's talking about how, when it's time for junior prom, he'll be old enough to date (16 in our house). I said, "yeah, and you'll be driving, too! I won't need to take you!" He smiled. I then added the sauce to the pudding:  "And you can drive the Prius to pick up your date. It's a total chick-magnet kind of car."

Smile erased. Instantly.

Poor stinky. He's going to have to swallow the idea that he's not going to be Prince Charming. He's just an average joe, and trying to be something you aren't is a key ingredient to being miserable. But I guess he'll learn that in time. Don't we all?

I'd love to add a picture of the big galoot here, but he has become allergic to getting his picture taken. If I sneak one in, maybe I'll edit. Instead, picture what he used to look like, only 6 feet tall now. :)