flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

March 28, 2010

New Addiction

One of the other nerds... err... science teachers turned me on to these puzzles on Friday. Bridges. Otherwise known as Hashiwokakero. And my mom can't pronounce Sudoku!

Mary, if you try these, you will be addicted. I promise.


March 26, 2010

It's Spring!

It's spring and all of the dirty birds are fluttering about the dusty aviary. The new news in town - our neighbor has moved out and her house is being sold.

Stinky and the Moth are quite into who will be moving in, and if they meet the Lee Circle requirements - at least one male progeny under the age of 12.

Last Saturday, Stinky walked into the house, steam pouring out of his ears.

"Mom. These girls. They were in OUR fort! They said they were buying the house and they were going to take our fort and CLEAN IT AND MAKE IT PRETTY!"

The horrors!

I tried to calm him down, but then the Moth joined in the fray. It would be the end of Kids' Creek as we know it (sob!)


It doesn't help that the girl across the street has decided to openly pick on Sean at school. It's not hard. He is like me - easily roused.

She accused him of spying on her. She brought this up every day, just to get his goat. Then, when he stopped defending himself, she added a new twist. He, apparently, likes to look at her NAKED!

This got Moral Majority Stinky in action mode. He went to the GUIDANCE counselor! He complained to Mom and Dad! This Evil Girl Must Be Stopped! I merely looked at him and said "say something like "I wouldn't spy on you, I don't like to throw up!"" He looked at me, then smiled.

We haven't heard about the spying stuff since then. AND we haven't gotten a call from the guidance counselors. Wins all around.


To finish off the week, the girls' parents did not put a bid on the house. But another set of parents supposedly did. They have 2 boys. One is 9 and one is 6. Pray for the adults on this block. We need all the help we can get.



March 23, 2010

The Other Woman...

The bird man has worked with women over the years. Many of them - most of them - sound totally cool. But two of them, from his first mention of them, made me grit my teeth. They were the kind of girls - and girls, you'll probably know what I'm talking about - who gravitate toward married men. And men never seem to see through them.

Each of these women is 1/2 responsible for breaking up at least one marriage - documented. It wasn't until this happened that my dear husband would acknowledge that these girls were, indeed, harlots.

Of course, the married men were creepheads, also. Goes without saying. But it takes two, and when the woman is the pursuer - as both of these chickies were - they should have to pay a price! They have purposefully helped to destroy a contract - like corporate sabotage.

It seems that there are these archaic laws in 7 states that allow the cheated spouse to go after the other woman/man. North Carolina is one of them.

Although I hate lawsuits in general, and I think this lawsuit in specific is exhorbitant, I am very glad to see the other woman pay a price.



March 22, 2010

What can I do?

I feel absolutely furious and helpless at the same time. It's all out of my control. I don't know what to do. I know others are in the same boat, and we all have the same feeling. Down with the bastages, I say. Get them out.

But I've yet to find a cold sore medicine which actually works. So I have a huge open sore on my face. Furious and helpless in the wake of these virus chumpies. And I don't know how to get rid of them.

What, did you think I was talking about something else? Healthcare, per chance? I could liken the herpes virus to our government officials, and my coldsore to the stupid ass healthcare bill that does nothing about skyrocketing costs yet obliges all americans to buy health insurance. But that would be mean to the viruses and might hurt the self-esteem of cold sores everywhere.



March 19, 2010

unfortunate nickname

I have a student, a beautiful, intelligent, hardworking girl. She has a typical urban name - lots of sh's and q's in it. She has taken the nickname of QUINNIE. She writes it all over her papers nowadays.

Now, isn't that a nickname for a female part, in certain anglo areas?

Should I discourage her from using this? If so, how on earth would I tactfully do so?




March 16, 2010

Is it the age, or is it the time?

I recently assigned my third project to my kids. They had to keep a science journal for the marking period. Each week, they were to cut out or print out an article from a newspaper. They had to write three paragraphs: summarize the article, link it to science (and explain the science), and give an opinion about the article or the science.

Of course, it was "too much, miss!" If I had a dollar for every time... anyway.

One of my better students handed hers in. It was hand written, which makes the fact that it was grammatically correct and almost completely spelled correctly much more awesome. She had articles on a new FBI database (science: technology), unsolved shootings in the city (ballistics and forensics), the new soda and sweets tax (health), and many others. The thing that struck me was, every opinion of hers came down to this: there aren't enough laws or enough law enforcement. Every problem - including obesity - can and should be litigated.

I remembered back to an essay contest I was required to enter my sophomore year of high school. We had to write a letter to a world leader, letting them know how we could make the world more peaceful. I was angry - I hated writing essays. So I wrote my letter to "Joe", the average man in the streets. I asked him how he could expect his leader to make a difference when Joe did all sorts of mean things. Blah blah blah. Filled it with sentimental sap. My teacher was peeved, but whatever. He couldn't prove I had done it tongue in cheek.

I won second place. He laughed his butt off with me.

The first place essay, I think, was to Ronald Reagan - telling him to cool his jets. But it stuck to me, even then, that we all expected someone else to solve our problems for us.

So, my question: is it the age (teenager) who thinks that government can actually do something worthwhile, or is it the time (now, 21st century) where we put more faith in law than in humanity?


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March 13, 2010

The Eagle Has Lifted Off!

My brother has come and taken my mother back to her home. We will miss the drinking songs - especially the ones where the drunkards try to lure young women into ruin - that she sings with glorious ignorance. We will REALLY miss having drawers and closets mysteriously cleaned and straightened, floors getting cleaned, and loads and loads of laundry which are nasty when we leave the house and clean and folded when we get home. Always funny - she apologizes that it mightn't be folded just right.

If you're family and you're reading this - give her a welcome home call. She'll appreciate it!



March 06, 2010

Oh No! No More Numb3rs!

My favorite show, Numb3rs, is done. I have enjoyed this year so much, with the only television I watch, Ghost Whisperer, Medium, and Numb3rs, all in a row. I think they're all just about done.

What will I do?



As easy as pie

But not Pi. As Pi is a really long number and a rather obscure concept, I'd say it was a lot easier than pi.

What, you ask?

Fixing my blog. Just said "new template"

All my old comments are gone, but that's ok, I guess. The posts are all there.

And now, I can continue my random randomness!