flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

November 20, 2012

The most evil of evil...

So, we actually had a sit-down family meal tonight. All of this family time is a little scary. It forces us to have... gasp... conversation!

I think I had a blog post that started just like this years ago, but the best seanisms always come out at the table!

So, we were talking about this book we had read aloud - we took turns. It was a good, scary book that Sean had read a few years ago for school, and I made Tim read it this year. It's called The Lovely Bad Ones, and if you like scary stories, this is a good one.

The story is about these 2 kids who go and stay in a haunted inn. One of the ghosts is this really mean old lady by the name of Ada. She is so powerful and scary and... goosebumps! At the end of the book, she is lured away by a shade she thinks is her brother - but the other ghosts are convinced it's much more nefarious than that.

I asked the boys - who do you think it was, if it wasn't her evil brother?

Sean answered: "The FDA!"



I guess he listens to daddy's rants quite closely.

I said, "I was going to say the devil, but I guess it's the same difference!"

November 14, 2012


So, I believe I've mentioned before that I am reviewing biology (*spit*) two days a week at my school. And now I have to teach chemistry in 3 day chunks. It's been all that.

This week, it was a 2 day chunk, because of veteran's day.

So, I decided to give them a "summary project" where they each got an atomic number and had to do all sorts of magic (electron hotels and configurations and mole calculations and fact gathering and other absolutely RIVETING stuff!)

One child was having a hard time with the calculation part.

I asked him what his element was, and he said...


And I burst out into loud, raucous laughter.

And he looked hurt. I guess it wasn't a joke.

OK, sweetie, what's your atomic number?

So, not being a total RainMan, I look over. Sr. Strontium.


Same diff?



November 11, 2012

isms of moth

So we were driving back from church today.... hey, don't look like that. We go to church. Regularly even. Usually, it's the 8:30 service (a.k.a get your ticket punched in 45 minutes or less) but today I forced the clan to go to the long mass.


The Haverford High School Concert Choir was singing there today. And MAN could those kids sing. What a blessing. I so miss the music and rhythm of actually going to a real mass... I was enjoying myself so much...

And my boys, all three of them, rolled their eyes and sighed the whole time.

Hence the regular 8:30 service. I suppose it's better than nothing.

Anyway, we're driving home, and I promised Stinky I'd walk him over to Ardmore, buy lunch, and some athletic pants for school (not allowed to wear jeans on gym days) if he didn't fight with  his brother between the car ride and when I was ready to go.

Cue Mothy a pickin on Stinks. It was crazy. I finally said, "Tim, you stop that. Stop being a bad boy and trying to ruin your brother's afternoon."

Tim looked at me and said, "I'm not a bad boy. Bad boys go to aich eee double hockey sticks, and I've never been there. Yet. So I'm a good boy."

Can't argue with that logic.

So, I walked with Sir Sean over to Ardmore, and we had Indian food, and it was good. And we went to the thrift store and he looked at me aghast. "I can't wear clothes someone else wore!"

"You do it all the time. Where do you think all the clothes you wear - the ones in the attic - come from?"

"Yeah, but they're my relatives. They don't have lice."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. I still bought a pair of pants there (and a Penn State jersey for Tim). Then we went to Sneaky Pete's for some brand new pants - same ones we got at the thrift store for $5 and the second pair cost almost $30. When it rang up, he looked at me and we had an understanding. Thrift stores aren't all that bad. And lice eggs wash out.

Meanwhile, the entire clan, minus me, have gotten into a huge game of Monopoly. I really despise that game, because one winner smears everyone else. How fun is that? Anyhow, Dad is in the hole, but he has hotels on park place and boardwalk. He swears he'll have it all in the end, mwa ha ha and all that.

See? How is that engendering good family values? I'd rather we all watched another james bond flick. There's some good family values!