flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

May 19, 2012

My Mother Is Brilliant

So, the moth. He's just a little, weensie, tiny bit stubborn. Not sure where he got that from.

Quiet, you.

Anyhow, he's taken to wearing his clothes inside-out and backwards. He's not a part of Kriss-Kross, so he's got no excuse.

I mentioned to my mom that this bothered me for some reason. I would ask him to wear his clothes right, but he would always come down looking like a hobo.

Given that I wore dead men's clothes when I was in school, because I found them comfortable and they appealed to my lack of fashion sense, I feel I have no room to comment on any of my children's fashion faux pas. However, I did mention it to mom.

She told me that I needed to make a stand. Tim is 8. I was 16 when I wore my stupid clothes, which were always neat and clean. I said I didn't really feel like making waves. She said if I let the little things slide, the big ones would too. The next time he came in with clothes inside out/backwards, I should re-dress him IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, loudly proclaiming that he was too much of a baby to dress himself.

I ran this by John, who started laughing.

I then did it.

Tim has worn his clothes correctly since then.

My mom, she is brilliant.


Speaking of Kriss Kross, I was watching this 90's music show. Wow, 90's had some GREAT music (Fiona Apple? Jewel? SoundGarden? Radiohead? Ahhhh... the list goes on). Also, some AWFUL music (I'm too sexy for... Kriss Kross'll make you Puke Puke!! Make It Stop!)

A friend's friend was a DJ at a college radio station at the time. Someone called into his show and requested Kriss Kross. Now, from what I understand, he was more likely to play the latest coming out of Seattle or East Coast/West Coast rival rappers and their proteges than the pop of the day. And everyone knew it. But still, the stupid request. So he said, OK, some Chris Cross coming right up for So And So (only he used her real name), and he dug up an old LP of Sailing by Christopher Cross.

I'll bet he didn't get a whole lot of requests after that. :)


School is almost done. I am studying for the physics PRAXIS. Stupid tests. Anyhow, end of year is a lot of fun. I took my juniors on a field trip to see some stuff at the science festival, and it was great. They had a blast and were super well behaved. And I was the first teacher in a while to take the WHOLE GRADE on a field trip, so they really liked me for a little bit.

Then the math teacher decided to reward the juniors with a trip to see the Avengers.

Way to out class me, math teacher. Sheesh. :)

So we went up to my old stomping grounds at TEMPLE on Tuesday and watched the movie. The kids were, once again, great. All present and accounted for. And appreciative.  And we had like 7-10 parents volunteer both times to be chaperones.

I love my school.


And now, I must shower, for I smell bad.

Later gators. I leave you with this picture, which I found on the internets, and I find extremely funny. If anyone knows a doctor who can diagnose this sense of humor, let me know. Stat.


May 02, 2012

They want to know WHAT??

So, we got this "official" census thing in the mail the other day. I was like, "John, didn't we just have a census?"

And he was like, "Yeah, but this is The American Community Survey and it's still required that we fill it out or we get in trouble."

Then we opened it up.

How much money do you spend on healthcare?
How do you heat your house?
What time did you go to work yesterday?
What are your weekly food expenditures?
in the words of  Yul Brenner... et cetera et cetera et cetera

I want to know:
  1. why is ANY of this stuff mr fed's business?
  2. who the hell is paying some bean counter to read about my spending habits? Me? Did you say me? CRAP now I'm REALLY mad!! I'd be even madder if I hadn't passed the buck to John to fill it out!
Believe it or not, the first question was apparently a stumper. How many people live in your house? Sounds easy, right? Until the next line that says, include anyone who lives in your house more than two months a year. As you two probably know, my mom lives with us 2-3 months a year. (Daggone, our healthcare $$ just went tru da roof!) Then, the next line says: unless they live somewhere ELSE more than 4 months a year.

Dealing with the federal government makes me want to channel my (not so) inner grumpy smurf: I hate bureaucrats!


I took my students on a field trip to the Philadelphia Science Festival last week. They were amazingly well behaved. Got the whole thing put together in 2 days with the help of another teacher.

I still can't believe my first field trip was with 100 students. And I didn't lose anybody. Permanently, anyhow.


New Scientist continues to amuse. Mexico has apparently decided to pass some GREEN laws. Yeah, Mexico!! I wonder if your population will follow those laws any better than the... oh, drug, kidnapping, murder laws that you already have on the books? But New Scientist sees them as TRAILBLAZERS!

Also, in big big BIG news, it seems that as these baby-boomers age, they are taking way more illicit drugs than the generation before them did. Question: how do you know if Gramps is suffering from dementia or if he's just on a bad trip? And why would anyone be surprised that the generation that brought us the summer of love would still be into drugs? Personally, I think that's probably the only way they can live with their memories!

How fitting is it, then, that the final story I read today was about Generation Y - or Generation Me. Born in the 80's and later, these kids were the ones coming through when the Baby Boomers had control of policy. And the policy was Self Esteem!! Well, it apparently doesn't work. Instead of producing successful young adults, we're producing a bunch of depressed narcissists. In the quote of the month, the article states: "Studies had shown [back in the 60's/70's] a correlation between high self-esteem and positive life events. People jumped to the conclusion that self-esteem was the cause of those other things, and it's not, really."

Um, no shit, Sherlock. You get the esteem bump BECAUSE you were successful. This is logic. That many of the Boomers seem to lack. But hey, if we say all the right things, like Mexico and its green laws, we'll obviously make a positive change. Or at least feel like we made a positive change, which will bump our self esteem. All good!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled program.