flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

February 28, 2009

History Teacher passes it on...

Our history dept head passed this out the other day. For those entrepreneurs out there, it's a must read. If you have to hire, you have to read this:

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II.

"Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage...

To read the rest, go here... the link above is a picture of the article. If you're under 40, you can probably read it.


Lab Accident!!

A few weeks ago, I had an incident in my lab. No radioactive spiders, unfortunately, or gamma rays. Just a jagged piece of glass covered with dust and rusty iron filings.

Bled like a stuck pig, it did.

So, I go down to the nurse. Stitches! she proclaims. So they take me to the hospital.

A little under 2 hours later, I'm done. Some saline, super glue (well, they call it derma bond, but whatever), a tetanus shot, and a hit of antibiotics with a paper for more, and I was outta there. Didn't even see a doc - just a physician's assistant.

The bill just came. $1318. 

No wonder people freak out over insurance!


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February 21, 2009

A Joke My Mom Made Up

So, we were sitting, talking about politics.

She says: "Poor Mr. Obama. He has such a bad economy. Why, the economy hasn't been this bad since George Washington threw the silver dollar across the Delaware! A dollar sure doesn't go that far these days..."

My sense of humor is inherited.


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Story Songs

I was listening to Michael Smirkonish the other morning, as is my wont, and he had a topic near and dear to my heart.

It seems for some reason, someone played part of Lucille and Mr. Smirkonish ended up "singing" the whole thing. Which got them off on the topic of story songs. They then played Big Bad John and Boy Named Sue

When I think of Kenny Rogers, I think of Coward of the County - and I can still hear my mom yelling up: "Hey Girls, that song you like is on WARM!" (on the... Harry West, the Harry West Show -bum-bum). One of the callers brought up Marty Robbins's El Paso, which reminds me of my dad.

I was surprised, however, with the huge Philly connection that no one brought up Jim Croce. Though he wasn't Country/Western, dude told a heck of a story song: Operator, Leroy Brown, Rapid Roy, and, of course, my favorite (for its Superman reference) Don't Mess Around with Jim

Anyone have a story song to add?



February 19, 2009

Townhall Meeting - my first

And last.

Oh. My. God.

My local Congressman, Joe Sestak, had a town hall on the phone tonight. Stumping the stimulus, I suppose. I decided to listen to hear what the word on the street is.

The first question I heard was this codger asking what was in this for seniors. You see, he explained, he had never had to pay for health insurance in his life. And he was peeved that now, when he is retired, the government made him pay $90 last month.

Congressman Sestak assured him that he was fighting for more money for seniors.

It went downhill from there.

There was the woman who wanted more money for child care. She has child care businesses, but not enough people can afford her rates. Why don’t we subsidize more childcare?

Congressman Sestak assured her that they were pouring as much into education as they could, and he was going to get more. It’s a priority for him.

There was the woman who wanted more money for mental health care – they need long term care. They need drugs and places to live, otherwise they are going to come back to their parents. And then it comes out that her child is one of these, and she’s tired of caring for him.

Congressman Sestak says that they’re going to appropriate over 3 billion dollars for mental challenges mostly because the soldiers are coming home with post traumatic stress disorder. Mental Health is “the biggest health challenge of any disease in America.”

I get the feeling with him, everything is the worst, and money is the only solution.

There was not a single, solitary soul who questioned where the hades this money was coming from.

People are completely nuts. Completely. Nuts.



February 14, 2009

Chef Bootie

So, there's this new commercial for that chef boyardee stuff. It has the kid eating the stuff while dad notices that there's a full serving of vegetables hidden in the paste.

When he goes to make note of it, mom turns on the garbage disposal. Dumb ol' dad doesn't catch the Signal, so he tries again, while mom coyly bangs pots and tells him casually to zip it.

I wish it were on Youtube, but it ain't.

Thing is, she's hiding the fact that this delicious stuff is nutricious. Not and Double Not. My kids call it chef bootie for a reason.

Still, it's a good excuse to treat the Dad figure like a moron. So, go buy some Chef Bootie. Boyardee. Whatever.



February 07, 2009

Lazy Saturday?

Lazy Saturday? What the hecks is that?

So, the boys are off to the Pinewood Derby today. John found out last night that the Jurassic Avenger is not eligible for competition since it ran last year. Alas, the Rogers family  goes unrepresented today.

I did start the day early, however. Around 5, I heard a call "Mommee!! Mommee!!" By the time I woke up and heard it was outside, well, I was awake. Then it made no sense, so I listened further.

Damned feral cats. First they give Stinky nightmares (he keeps dreaming that they are "feasting" on him.). Now they decide to get busy in my driveway on a Saturday morning. Well, it sounded like they had a good time anyhow.

Glad someone enjoyed it.

To give myself some luxury, I watched some TV - and the kids came down so we watched Brady Bunch. Do you remember the episode with Buddy Hinton? "Baby talk, baby talk, it's a wonder you can walk!" That episode SPOKE to me, man, since I had such a horrible lisp. 

Nowadays it speaks to me again. Mr. Brady, Mr. I'm All Reason Brady, gets so frustrated with Mr. Hinton that he coaches Peter on how to box. Mrs. Brady, Mrs. Blessed Are The Peacemakers Brady, cheers Peter on and brings the Gatorade. 

If this sitcom were made today, reason would have won the argument. Reason rarely loses in TVLand today. But, if this sitch was in reality, there would have been text messaging, someone getting jumped, and plenty of suspensions handed round. 

I guess we can say that the Brady Bunch was Keepin It Real (or, as some of my students would say, "real rap").

Now I'm off to buy some "large beads" for an Avagadro's Number activity. Real rap.


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Math Geeks: Holla!

for the few, the proud, those with a bad sense of humor.


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February 04, 2009

I'm just sayin...

In the Philadelphia School District, we have half-day training days once a month. These occur on Wednesdays and cause mass confusion. The kids are crazy, we have Monday twice, and the teachers spend just as much time with more creative planning, because the half day always throws off our schedules.

We were supposed to have one last Wednesday, but we had a big honking ice storm. 

We were supposed to have a big snow storm Monday, but it petered out. Yesterday, we were supposed to get flurries that didn't stick. We got eight inches.

Oh, we were supposed to have our February training day today. Snert.

God must like *something* about Philadelphia teachers. 

And because they announced the closure at 5:30, and I checked at 5, all my shoveling is done! Well, snow shoveling anyhow. I never truly stop shoveling, as those of you who know me can attest.

Happy snow day!

(oh, and how often would you see post labels combining good science, religion, and teaching?)

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