flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

October 25, 2008


Updates updates...

First, on the school front. Well, I did my first real lab yesterday. 5 tests - acid, base, water, electric conductivity, and flame test - on a series of elements from around the periodic table. Period 2 was fine. Period 3 was great. Period 5 was really good.

Period 6 lit my garbage can on fire.

Of course, another teacher happened to be there when it happened. English teachers don't understand the fun of fire. He was pale and scared. I got to use my fire extinguisher! I was revved. And pissed. One of the students asked me if they were my worst class. I said, "yes." Then I mitigated, "I don't have anything against any of you as individuals. But as a group, we're chaos. Chaos and labs don't mix. You're not doing labs. You'll do worksheets when my other classes do labs."

The kid who lit the fire? I'm betting he doesn't make it back to school for a while. Those kids were MAD that they didn't get to play with the lab stuff.

It was never really that dangerous. It was contained in a metal garbage can. Besides, the science wing is far off on the side of the building, and is mostly empty. Damage there is easily contained. Schools are designed that way, usually, because science is dangerous. And fun. Don't think so? Go check out the fun these blokes are having, especially with any of the group 1 elements. Try potassium (K). I can't show these in school because youtube is blocked. Damn porn.

So back to that portion of the school being isolated. Because most of the labs are empty, the kids like to hang out up there. They stole a bunch of keys, among them a science wing master. Every once in a while we find evidence of B&E. Used condoms are among the evidence. Ewww. I mean, seriously. Think back to your science lab. Ewww.

This year, my boss heard some noise and caught 2 boys in one of the empty labs. It was dark. She pulled them out and wrote them up. She knew there were most likely two girls in the room, but it was better this way. Detention/suspension is nothing compared to the idea of getting caught in one of the labs with another boy for most of these guys. Holy crow, they were fired up at the implication that they were... hanging out together. She just smiled as she wrote the slips. They couldn't turn in the girls if they ever wanted to "hit that", but now their reps were questioned. A win-win if you ask me.

I was telling my husband this story, not knowing that stinky was around the corner, listening. I suspected he was around; he is most of the time these days. So I obviously used round about terms. The next day, Sean says to John, "I thought Mom's story was funny." John was like, "what story?" Stinky replies, "the one about the two boys dancing in the room. They were dancing with girls but the teacher made it sound like they were dancing with each other. Now everybody thinks they like to dance with boys." He giggles.

Little pitchers have big ears. I have never understood the source of that saying, but man, my pitcher has the biggest ears ever.

The boys are both fine. Soccer today - but it's rainy and Moth man has been sick all week. So he's not going. We got their pictures back this week. Classics. Stinky's shirt already has gook on it and Moth, well, it's not his best pic, that's all. Typical elementary pics. They're doing well, and EXCITED for halloween. Tim's a skeleton and sean is a zombie. Look for pics next week! Yeah right, ok, maybe next month! Next year?


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