flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

My Photo
Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

June 01, 2007

Enforced Hiatus

I’m jotting this down as my computer does its Microsoft Updates. I hate those damn things. All hackers should BURN IN HADES.

I am currently doing 2 grad courses in 6 weeks. It’s NUTS. I’m 3 weeks in, and not able to sleep. I feel like a Victorian woman, complaining of nerves. And Poor John. He’s had to take the brunt of the kids. An example of what he’s putting up with:

The other night, Mothman runs up to John, crying.

“Sean toot-tooted on me!”

Stop. If it were me, I would say (screech), “SEAN! NO TOOT-TOOTING ON YOUR BROTHER!!”

But, I was in class. John handled it in a guy manner. “So what? Fart right back on him. I don’t care!”

Thus ensued a flatus war. However, Tim is 4. He tried to force one… well, it was rather the opposite of that olde bathroom-stall limerick (You know the one: “here I sit, broken hearted…”).

When I got home that night, John practically had a storm cloud over his head. Mothy was so upset that he had soiled himself that he kicked off his gnarly undies in the bathroom. And got funk on his foot, which he tracked across the floor. He pulled himself up onto the toilet seat, spreading more love there. John had to clean it all, and, of course, give Timmy a shower.

Needless to say, Timmy did not sing the Thomas Theme song when he finished this duty. (That’s his new habit. He sings Thomas as he poops. What a kid.)

And of course, when I heard the story, I laughed. Because I am evil.


Speaking of chocolate and evil – the “big” chocolate makers want to change the legal definition of chocolate – lowering the cocoa butter requirement in the magic elixir (blogger keeps eating my hyperlink. What do you want for a free product? Anyway, food section of philly inq yesterday - search on mockolate). They want to make my drug of choice waxy.

Cheap bastards.


So an update wouldn’t be an update without telling about Stinky. What’s he up to these days? Playing outside, mostly. He’s berry brown already (yes, we use sunblock. No, we can’t do it all the time.) His hair is turning blond again, though it will never be white as it was when he was a baby.

He has 10 days left of school. The last day, they’re doing a kindergarten play, singing patriotic songs. For some reason, this brings Kindergarten Cop to mind for me. He’s stuck between pride (he likes to be in these kind of productions still) and being a “that’s so not cool” little kid.

He got a hold of a stamper the other day – I don’t know where or ho
w (I am never home). He chose to stamp his sheets with it. So, now his white sheets have red hearts all over them. He thinks its cool. We’ll see if he still thinks its cool in six months. But I didn’t yell. They’re only sheets, and they’re his sheets. No harm, no foul. See, I am learning!


Labels: , ,


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home