flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

My Photo
Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

January 08, 2007

Granny’s Got An In

It’s confirmed, Granny has an in with the tooth fairy.

It all started a few months ago, when Stinky lost his first tooth. It had been loose for weeks, but he wouldn’t let us pull it. Then, the day we were to go to Granny and Poppy’s house, it fell out.

What to do?! The local tooth fairy had already plunked a bunch of dough down at the Rusty Nail down the street – what’s a tooth fairy to do while waiting for a tooth to fall out? We understand our local fairy has a penchant for cheap, bad lagers. Anyway, after all that waiting, he couldn’t even claim the tooth, since we would be at Granny and Poppy’s abode, which was in another fairy’s territory.

So, Granny put a call in to their local tooth fairy, to see if the account could get transferred. (don’t you know – when Granny was “talking” to the tooth fairy on the phone, her phone rang. To add insult to injury, they usually get, like, two calls a day. She has the most incredible luck!) Anyhow. She was successful in her quest, and stinky got two dollars (two bucks! Do you believe that?!) under his pillow.

Well, yesterday, we get home from church, and he’s in tears. It seems is second loose tooth came out when he bit into a cookie at church and he swallowed it (sorry about that ambiguous pronoun. He swallowed the cookie AND the tooth.). He wanted to wait til he, um, passed it, and he wanted me to find it in his… excrement. Nice. I said, “Hey, Granny’s on good terms with the tooth fairy guild. I think she supports their union benefit or something. When you talk to her today, ask her to give them a call.”

So he did. And she did.

But without proof of tooth, he only got $.50 (that’s fihdee seh, does anyone else miss the cent on the keyboard?)




Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home