flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

May 08, 2008

shorty want a thug

Do you like my title? It's the only set of lyrics I know from Lil Wayne's song Lollipop. My girls thought it quite funny when I said them out loud yesterday. I always accentuate my whiteness, just to get them to laugh. It generally works.

Life as a city teacher is better. Much better. I've always made fun of that storm-norm-perform group work theory crap. I'm not much of an HR person. But since my university supervisor is gone, I finally feel like I can "norm" with my kids. And I'm having a bit of fun. Hence, the quote of this week's top pop 40 song.

I liked the Alicia Keys week better. Or Chris Brown. This thug crap is too close to my girls. I wish... oh well. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride, as my dear mudder might say.


Life in the dusty aviary is the same old same old. Stinky and the Moth have joined baseball and t-ball, respectively. Now, I don't think I've posted on this before, and I'm too lazy to go look. So let me just say, t-ball is the strangest suburban tradition I've ever seen. Let all the kids hit, don't keep score, and stand around in the cold spring weather cheering them on. I told John he's on his own with this crap. I think it's pointless.

In fact, Sean's baseball team is a little better. They have a pitching machine, they count outs and runs. They have winners and losers. This might seem intuitively obvious, but they didn't used to keep score or have winners. It's about the game, not the competition. Right? Heh. the kids always kept score.

This was brought painfully to light when one of the kids cried at receiving "best sport" trophy - all the kids received trophys. When asked why he cried, he said that "best sport" was reserved for the worst player. The kids all understand waaaaay better than their parents might like.

I don't know who we think we're doing favors for, in the end. Life is not fair. There are winners and losers, and if you have no talent for sport, it's best to find that out and find out what you do have talent for. Padding our kids in cotton wool just makes the inevitable fall more painful, methinks. But that's just my opinion.


Tim has been funny as heck lately. He started singing a song last night - or as he might say, he started singing a song tomorrow. (he has a really tough time with tenses. go figure.) "ABCDEFG, Barbie is my enemy..." then he sang about nefarious downfalls for Barbie. Something about pooping on her head and green freckles on her face. (wonder where he got that from, Uncle Larry.).

Tim also has some funny mothisms - he says "bit" instead of "put" - "I bit it on the table". That was a weird one for us to figure out. But the boy has charisma. Not sure where he got it from. Not from me or John, for sure.

Not to be out-done, Stinky has taken his job of "class animal expert" to the extreme. His "job" in his class is to maintain the terrariums. Now, in all of my teaching classes, I have been told to give the problem ADHD kids "jobs" to make them feel important, keep them busy, and, best of all, contently out of your hair. Since Sean announced he has this "job", I'm wondering what a holy terror he must be in his classroom. But his teacher maintains that beyond being messy, he's a rule follower to the extreme (the perfect blend of John and I. Said it b4, say it again - poor kid).

He has homework every night and cries and whines every night as we do it. His handwriting is ATROCIOUS and I have taken to calling him chickenscratch, as that's what his dad used to be called in school. He doesn't like this. He calls me mean. Best he learns the truth at a young age, no?

But at the same time, he is so much fun. He constantly comes up with games (mostly battle and war games) and he likes all the same kind of tv shows and movies that I like. We're patiently waiting for Prince Caspian to come out - and Journey to the Center of the Earth. He even shares popcorn. Unlike his dad, he's a good movie date.


OK, well, the kids are starting to roll in. I have to go give a test. Yipee skipee. Wish them luck.


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