Why Are Goodbyes So Hard?

I’m not a very good friend. I don’t have close friends; I never have had.

But for some reason, I have a very hard time letting go. John says it’s a loyalty thing.

At strange times, like when I’m running, or in the shower, or just on the edge of sleep, I find my thoughts drifting to the past and people I don’t see anymore. I make the oldster effort of keeping in touch through Christmas cards (I believe Lucia was the one who commented to me that this means we’re old: we keep in touch only at the holidays). I even make an effort to email once in a while. But somehow, I still feel a poignant sense of loss.

I know that friends from the past have little in common with me now. We’ve all moved on. Yet there is this part of me that is incredibly sad that I haven’t talked to Laura in a decade (and I’ve googled her several times), or that I haven’t seen Judy in five years. These are incredible people! So talented, so funny. I’m so blessed to have ever known them.

So, if you’re a blast from the past, and you happen to run across this site, please say hi.

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