flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

October 07, 2011

It must be fate...

I've come more and more to believe in fate, or Deus ex Machina, or whatever you want to call it, as I grow older. Things, good and bad, happen for a reason.

Now, you might think I've gone all philosophical here, but hear me out. Take this morning, for example. I came back from my run cold, so I made the coffee, drank a cup, and jumped into a hot shower. I was still cold, so I took a cup with me, thinking to drink on the train. But, being the moron that I am, I left it in the car. And being the uber moron that I am, I didn't even realize it.

As soon as I got to the train platform, I decided to get out my quizzes and grade, since I crashed last night and didn't grade. These quizzes were very short, only 1/4 of a piece of paper (and, yes, there is a difference between magnesium and manganese), so I could hold them in my hand and grade. So convenient! Especially as I had two hands free... still wasn't missing the java.

So I graded, and graded, and graded... 100+ papers later, I'm done. Why haven't I reached my stop yet? Oh, there's a broken down train in front of me. Hey, where's my coffee? Crap I forgot it. But that's ok. I don't really need it.

I go up the steps of the train to my school and realize I've arrived in that no-man's land time. If you get here before 7, the side door is open for teachers. If you get here after 7:15, the front door is open for students. I got here at 7:05.

There's a Dunkin Donuts 4 blocks away.

I'm telling you, this all screams of a master plan to me! My papers are graded, I have superior caffeine, and my headphones are rocking Disturbed this morning (I really like their latest album). If my own plan had been followed, I would have drunk my coffee on the train, been late to school, and not gotten the quizzes graded.

Somehow, I doubt it can be carried to macro-scale. I'm not sure what the master plan is for my wonderful student who is dying of brain cancer.  Or for the people in my hometown who lost their homes and/or livelihoods to flood a few weeks ago. But you know, I've always been a tree person. I don't see the forest. And if there's some kind of master plan to make me feel better today, I'll bet there's something good that comes out of those other things. I'm just not bright enough to see it.

Speaking of this new-found philosophical depth, any ladies who are older than I am who happen to read this... is there some sort of return to puberty that comes in your 40s? I'm finding myself sad or happy for no apparent reason... thinking philosophically...  I am not used to this emotion stuff. And I'm getting pimples again. This is not cool. It does end again, right?



Blogger cube said...

I can't speak for your 40's, but menopause hit me in my 50's... very slow at first, so slow I thought I had beaten all the nasty sequelae. My thesis was flawed.

October 07, 2011 12:35 PM  
Blogger birdwoman said...

Not sure what u mean. Buy I've had many a flawed thesis

October 07, 2011 2:48 PM  

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