flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

September 03, 2011

Enough Already

It started almost innocently - as every invasive specie does. First there were the GBR stickers and the rest of those euro-lot-stickers... they appeared mostly on pretentious BMW, Volvo, and Jaguar type cars.

But then, they became the scourge of yuppieville.

You can't see an SUV in the burbs without one of those stupid initial stickers pasted on the stern. Usually, it's for some favored vacation place (the 2000's answer to the old "this car climbed mount washington"?). Like I care that your second house that I insure because it keeps getting hit by hurricanes is on LBI or AVI or MB or whatever initials you come up with.

You know the concept has truly jumped the shark, though, because now middle schools are getting in on the game. It used to be that we were lambasted about all the honors students and their alma maters. Now, it's the elusive initial sticker. How the heck am I supposed to know what AMS is and when I get close enough to see I want to slap myself for caring about Apathy Middle School.

I propose a new set of initial stickers... just to demonstrate how stupid the things are...

TMI - no, not too much information, Three Mile Island! Hey, who wouldn't want to vacation there? An island implies a beach, the local environment would give you a GLOWING tan, and hey, don't the XMen have a secret base there or something?

LC - Love Canal. Sounds so... errr... lovely, no?

CNT - a HOT Pennsylvania site, everybody should go there!

CRL - Chernobyl. See TMI.

What stickers would you like to see?


Blogger cube said...

I hear ya. We went up to New Hampshire a few years ago and climbed up 6,288 feet on the Mount Washington auto road. Yeah, I'd like to see a WTF bumpersticker for that... as in, what the *f* was I thinking going up that thing!

And with my joker husband driving!!!!!

September 12, 2011 1:35 PM  
Blogger birdwoman said...

Do you think those kind of challenges inspire most women? I can't imagine what would make me want to put my car through that.

Does he have green hair?


September 13, 2011 4:41 AM  
Blogger cube said...

They certainly don't inspire me. OK, in my youth, I used to pull some stunts I would definitely never pull now that I'm older and wiser.

Driving up this friggin' mountain with Mr. Cube pretending to lose control of the car when there are no guard rails... nothing... just 6000 feet of "Ahhhhh" before you hit the ground. My daughters heard words they had never heard from the lips of their mother.

My dad is no help. He joked about
that the first 6,287 feet down weren't the problem, it was that
last foot.

The men in my life are comedians. I often want to hit them.

And, no, Mr. Cube's hair is not green... but you wouldn't like him if he got angry.

September 13, 2011 3:25 PM  
Blogger birdwoman said...

well I said green hair because you called him The Joker. But Bruce Banner does just as well, I suppose...

What is it with these engineers who make roads just begging you to drive off them? That Pacific Coast Highway north of San Francisco is the same. Cliffs of Insanity directly into the Ocean... no guide rail... in fact, there's a bit of an inclined slope, so if you go off, your nose stays in the air. Good view as you fall, I suppose.


September 14, 2011 7:10 AM  
Blogger cube said...

Mr. Cube is definitely more Hulk than the Joker. His jokes aren't as funny as he thinks they are... we find them especially
annoying at the edge of a precipice.

September 15, 2011 2:03 PM  

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