flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

February 08, 2014

John, Don't Read This Until 2/9

So, Mothman and I just went to buy "big beers" for daddy for his birthday.

(I, once again, forgot it was his birthday until I got on the puter and saw it was 2/8. I am a Very Bad Wife.)

Anyhow, we didn't go to any old distributor, we went to the uber-classy Beer Shoppe. You know it's classy, because shop is spelled with the extra "pe".

If you've never lived in Pennsyltucky, you don't know about our bizarro alcohol laws. Wine and liquor are sold in "state stores" which are limited in licensing. Beer is sold at "distributors". Distributors can only sell by the (unopened) case, which can lead to beer-sasters. I mean, picture me buying into the pretty pictures on the box (cause I don't like beers, meself, so I usually go by the artwork) and getting an entire case of Coors Ice for John. An entire case. He'd drink it, because I spent money on it, and it was there. And he'd be more bitter than a double IPA.

(OK so I lie. I do know SOMETHING about beer, and I'd never buy him Coors, because he'd divorce me.)

So, how can you buy a mixed case of beers?

The Beer Shoppe has a little bar/fry food area in the back, with a big-screen TV. Now, to get back there, you have to walk through an aisle of incredi-beers. Thing is? Loophole? Bars can sell six-packs.

Because you want people who have been drinking to buy another six to drink on the way home.

So, little stores like this get a bar license, and though they do sell food, their primary income is selling microbrews and imports.

Mothy and I picked up 6 4-packs. 3 domestics from small breweries, 3 imports from famous British/Irish breweries. (which, oddly, they now sell in cans. Strange.)

I go to check out, and I'm told that the clerk cannot sell me this much beer. It's 2 4-packs more than the maximum number of carry-out ounces a bar can sell.


So, I had to get in line twice to buy two separate batches.

Then, they wouldn't let me leave the store with both of my purchases.

I had to take one set out, return and get the other set.

Is this goofy, or what?

Ahh, pennsylvania, I do love you so. Goofiness and all.



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