Celebrating Mediocrity

Bob: I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation.
Bob: It's not a graduation. He's moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
Helen: It's a ceremony!
Bob: It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity...
-from the Incredibles



It started with the innocuous “new song.”

“Mama, do you want to hear the new song we’re learning?”

“Sure, Stinky.”

(off key with strange dance-like gestures) “I love you…. You looooove me…. We loooove each other like a family. Now we say good byyyyyyeeeee.”

(alarm bells ringing in my head)

“What are you learning that song for, Sean?”

“Graduation.”

Graduation.

Next came the order form. The cap and gown were $15 bucks, but they suggested the $20 package, which included the class ring.

Sean is 5. FIVE. He’s in DAYCARE (or, as some call it, preschool.)

Am I just a curmudgeon? I refuse to go celebrate this “graduation” when he’ll be going back to daycare the next week – he doesn’t start kindergarten until September.

I just think it’s strange to celebrate “preschool graduation.” I’m of the (very small) school that believes when you celebrate everything, there’s nothing left to do when something truly special happens.

So, I think either Dad or Mom will be taking off “graduation” day. And Sean and Tim will be pulled out of daycare. And we’ll go to the zoo.

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