flightless hag

A chronicle of the adventures of birdwoman: a lonely, talentless freak who wanders the internet in search of entertainment.

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Location: Philly

I'm a 40-something married white female, survivor of weight watchers, avid reader of pulp. Dogs (not cats), extreme right (handed, not politics), ENTJ, alto, wanna-be knitter.

June 30, 2012

Because I am a moron

I used to be a really fat person. I lost quite a lot of weight on weight watchers, and through running.

Once a year I get hurt. Every time, I gain about 5 more pounds, even though I get back to running. This time, I hurt my foot (last summer) and it never quite healed. I've gained so much weight it's just disgusting.

So I started back on weight watchers this week.

I'm going on vacation next week.

Go figure.


So, I went to a wedding today. Actually, we missed the wedding. We were confounded by New Jersey, yet again. But it's all good.

Actually, let me say a few things about Jersey. I don't get why all of the electric poles (not ones with lights, just poles) have solar panels on them.

I don't get why the turnpike is ALWAYS being built and rebuilt seven ways to sunday. Nor do I get why every road has signs that say "this way to the turnpike", no matter which direction you're going in.

It's like they want to take your money... you know, you always have to pay to get out of jersey... this is not such a stretch.

So, we're at the wedding. The DJ is clueless. He's playing the weirdest list of wedding tunes I've ever heard. You disbelieve? I'll write down some of them:
       -Billy Jean (is not my lover?? please?)
       - Shook Me All Night Long (complete with strippers riding mechanical bulls)
      - Put a ring on it, beyonce. Or betwice. Whatever her name is, it obviously worked for her, and the bride.
       - I can't get no satisfaction (Is this the groom's song, or the bride's?)

It went on and on and on... I put my hands up in the air sometimes... wait, I was just channeling one of the appropriate songs (dynamite). But the food was excellent (see beginning of post. I ate all the veggies and gave my cake to my boys.) And the boyos had a good time.

And now, I'm off to see who's playing in Bryn Mawr this week. Maybe it will have some inappropriate wedding song! Or that "let's go make a family" song (always) which always gets played at weddings though I cannot imagine a more smarmy come-on line.

(*)>  (i throw my wings up in the air some times, singing ay-oh, gotta let go... oh crap now that song is in my head!)


Blogger junewilliams7 said...

I hope you do well with Weight Watchers. It's supposed to be less complicated now. What are you doing on vacation? No more injuries, please!

Another inappropriate song for weddings is that Dolly Parton number, "I Will Always Love You" which is a goodbye song. I guess folks don't listen to lyrics.

July 03, 2012 4:57 AM  
Blogger birdwoman said...

Indeed. Or that police song - every breath you take? It's about a stalker. People think it's romantic.

People are weird.

I am going north, up north in Canada. It's natural and beautiful and cool - I am very very excited. Especially since it's been close to 100 here for almost 2 weeks now.

July 03, 2012 5:22 AM  

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